


Naked Truths

by GreyHaven, YumeArashi



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Canon compliant - Duke's past, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 21:16:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13256796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyHaven/pseuds/GreyHaven, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: Duke's taken plenty of lovers, but he doesn't do relationships and he doesn't do complicated.  He never should have gotten into bed with Nathan Wuornos.





	Naked Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Set pre-series but not long before - the Troubles have started but Nathan's hasn't kicked in yet.

“Nathan,” Duke greeted him as he stepped aboard the Rouge. “Back so soon?”

Their trysts were regular, casual, secretive, and they met every couple of weeks, but tonight was unscheduled and Duke had been surprised to get Nathan's text that just said “8pm”.

"You got a problem with that?" Nathan smirked.

“Didn’t say that,” Duke shrugged.  “Just surprised.”

"Just your lucky day," Nathan told him, handing over the six pack he'd taken to bringing.  A few beers definitely made all this easier.

"Or yours," Duke countered with a smirk as he took the beers. He opened the pack and passed one back to Nathan.

Nathan look a long swallow, draining most of the bottle, before asking, "We gonna go downstairs or just drink on deck?"

“Can't get enough of me?” Duke grinned.

"Maybe certain parts of you," Nathan said.  He finished his beer and reached for another.

Duke moved it out of his reach and leaned in to murmur in his ear. “Oh? And which parts would those be?”

Nathan cast a glance back toward the empty dock before leaning in and grabbing a handful of Duke's ass.  "How 'bout this part?"

“Well, it is a _great_ ass, I can see why you can't get enough of it,” Duke smirked.

"Haven't heard you complain," Nathan retorted, reaching again for another beer.

“Nope,” Duke agreed, draining his own beer before he passed another one to Nathan.

Nathan went steadily to work on the second beer, giving Duke a long, contemplative look.  "You down to get rough?"

Duke looked back at Nathan, wondering, because there was definitely something _off_ about him and Duke thought that maybe he should _ask_ but that felt like overstepping the bounds of their... friendship. He took a long swallow of his beer. “Down for anything. What are you thinking?”

Nathan looked a little confused and a little frustrated.  "Just...rough.  No injuries, no blood, nothing like that.  Just rough."

“You want me to be rough with you? Grab your wrists, pin you down?”

"Other way 'round." Nathan watched him carefully to gauge his response.

Duke raised his eyebrows. “You want to be rough with me?” He asked and when Nathan gave a curt nod, Duke answered with a slow nod of his own. “Ok...Gonna need a bit of discussion first, Nate,” he said, his tone guarded because he had _no idea_ where Nathan's head was at right now. “Safe words...Familiar with the traffic light system?”

Nathan shook his head.

“Green is good, yellow is slow down, check in, maybe stop, red is stop immediately,” Duke explained, frankly a little relieved that he was having to initiate Nathan into this. “That work for you?”

"Sure," Nathan said, even though he wasn't really sure how to apply the knowledge.

“Good. Ground rules. Don't hurt my dick, no marks that I can't hide under clothes, and do not _\- do not -_ damage this,” Duke grinned and pointed at his face.

"Fair," Nathan grunted, draining the last of his second beer.  "We good?"

Duke nodded and finished his beer, swallowing hard as he wondered just what he’d let himself in for.  “We’re good.”

"Good.  Downstairs," Nathan said impatiently.

That _intense_ look was back on his face and again Duke had to bite back an unspoken question - _what's wrong?_ \- it wasn't the time, wasn't his _right_ to ask that. He put his beer bottle on the table, buying himself an extra couple of seconds (for what, he didn't know, he _trusted_ Nathan. Enough for this, anyway), before he made his way inside. He paused by the door, waiting for Nathan to go past so he could lock up. No sense risking being disturbed.

Nathan slipped inside and headed for the bedroom, already pulling his shirt off.

Duke closed the door and turned the key, slid the metal bolt across for good measure, and followed Nathan into the bedroom.

Nathan pinned Duke up against the wall the moment he walked in, pressing their bodies together and biting at Duke's shoulder.

Duke stifled a groan as arousal rushed through him. He leaned his head forward to murmur in Nathan's ear. “Want me to fight back?” Maybe that was it, maybe Nathan was really here looking for a fight, some sort of outlet for whatever the fuck was bothering him, and some faked resistance might be just what he needed.

"Yeah," Nathan growled, tugging Duke's shirt off impatiently.

“Fuck you, Nate,” Duke pushed at his shoulders, forced Nathan back a step.

"Fuck you too, asshole," Nathan braced himself to shove back, grabbing Duke's wrists to pin them against the wall.

Duke grunted as his back hit the wall. He tried to pull his hands free but Nathan's grip was _strong_ and his half-hearted struggles proved useless. He hadn't been kidding about wanting to play rough. “Get the fuck off me,” he growled.

"Go to hell," Nathan told him, pressing close, littering more bites along Duke's skin - holding, so far, to Duke's rule about visible marks.

“Fuck,” Duke whispered, held against the solid wall by Nathan's whole body, the bites staying just the right side of painful, and all he could think was _more_.

“S'the idea," Nathan grunted, shifting Duke's wrists to one hand so he could get into Duke's pants with the other.

Duke took the opportunity of the change of grip on his wrists to _push back_ , albeit more half-heartedly than before because now Nathan's hand was in his pants and pretending to fight back was the last thing on his mind.

Nathan left a sharp bite at the juncture of Duke's neck and shoulder, stroking him a few times before letting go to shove Duke's pants down around his ankles.

“Ow,” Duke yelped. “Fucking hell, Nate, I thought you said no blood and no injuries.” He craned his neck uselessly, trying to see if he was in fact bleeding.

"There's no blood, don't be such a baby," Nathan growled.

And - _fuck_ \- those words. _Don't be such a baby_. They echoed round his head even as Nathan kept touching him, kept nipping at him. Duke froze, reality narrowing to a pinprick as he tried to remember how to _breathe_. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Nate, don't," he said quietly.

Something in Nathan's brain worried, warned him, but Duke hadn't said 'red', after all, and Nathan was in a shitty mood, searching for some _release_ , some escape from his own thoughts.  He went ahead and undid his own pants, shoving them and his underwear down before crowding back against Duke.

Nathan’s hands were still on him, his body still pressed against him, and Duke wanted this to _stop_ but those words were still echoing around his head and there was no space for anything else.  His vision started to blur and he forced himself to breathe, to pull air into his lungs.  “Red,” he managed to choke out.  “Fucks sake, Nate, red.  Stop.”

Nathan backed off, feeling guilty and angry at himself as he pulled up his pants.  He turned away to give Duke privacy to get decent.  "Bad idea.  I'll go," he muttered.

Duke hurriedly pulled up his pants and walked across to the bed, his legs like jelly.  He sank down onto it, his breathing fast and irregular as he stared into space, fighting to ground himself.

Nathan had turned to go but hesitated, feeling that something was wrong.  This time he listened to his instincts.  "Duke?  You ok?"

His voice cut through to Duke, just enough that he could find the breath to speak.  “Will be.”

Nathan sat beside Duke, calm and steady outwardly, whatever he might feel.  "What do you need?" he asked matter of factly.

Duke stood up, still breathing quickly, his heart still thumping in his chest.  “I need a bottle of whisky and for you to leave.”

Nathan nodded and picked up his shirt.  "Won't happen again," he said as he headed out.

Duke followed him, ready to lock the doors behind him because what he most needed right now was to feel _safe_ and shutting himself behind metal doors (maybe with a gun at hand) was the best way to do that.  He picked up a bottle of whisky, not bothering with a glass, he was too far gone for niceties like that.  His fingers were weak, adrenaline still coursing through his body, and he struggled to unscrew the cap.  In a fit of frustration, he launched it at the wall.  Fragments of glass flew all over, covering the floor, the furniture.  “Fuck!” He shouted - or maybe screamed - loudly enough to hurt his throat.

Nathan paused. After a moment's consideration he went over and got another bottle of whiskey and two glasses, opened the bottle and poured Duke a generous measure, a slighter one for himself.

“Thanks,” Duke muttered as he took the glass.  He drained it and sank down to the floor, his back against the wall.  He pulled his legs up to his chest and rested his elbows on his knees, staring down at the floor.

Nathan cautiously sat beside him, folding his long limbs, bringing the bottle with him but not refilling Duke's glass, not yet.

Now able to breath slightly more normally, Duke risked a sideways glance at him.  “You don’t have to stay.”

"Least I can do.  'Less you want me gone."

Duke shrugged.  He didn’t actually know the answer to that right now, but kicking Nathan out seemed wrong.  He held out his glass, his hand still noticeably shaking, silently asking Nathan to pour him another.

Nathan obliged him.  "If you wanna talk, I'll listen.  If not, don't have to."

Duke knocked back the whisky and shook his head as he swallowed.  “Don’t pretend this is something it isn’t.  It’s just fucking.  It went wrong.  Move on.”  He held the glass out again.

Nathan didn't believe that for an instant, but he didn't challenge Duke on it, just refilled his glass.

“Thanks,” Duke sipped more slowly this time.  They sat beside each other in a silence that was caught somewhere between companionable and awkward until Duke broke it.  “So what was with you?  You wanted to meet early, then I couldn’t tell if you wanted to fuck or fight.  Something going on?”

Nathan's shoulders hunched inward.  “Don’t pretend this is something it isn’t," he shot back.  "It’s just fucking.  It went wrong.  Move on.”

“Fair,” Duke laughed and drained his glass once more.  “Tell you what, Nate, how’s this for fair?  I’ll talk if you will.”

Nathan nodded.  He didn't want to talk about it, but if it would get Duke to admit what was really wrong… "Flip a coin, see who goes first?"

“Nope.  You’re going first.  I need to be drunk before I even think about this shit,” Duke held out his glass again.

Nathan grimaced and poured himself another before he refilled Duke's glass.  He drank slowly, feeling the burn of it, trying to memorize the sensation as he was trying to memorize so many others.  "Troubles're back."

“Fuck,” Duke said.  “That’s...So that’s why you wanted to meet early.  In case…”  He left the sentence unfinished.

Nathan turned the glass in his hands, his thumb running over the texture of it, his eyes fixed on the motion.  "Any day now.  Any hour, any minute.  Gone."  His face was blank but his voice was angry, frustrated, helpless.

Duke nodded.  “Not much I can say, is there?  Want to fuck instead?”

Nathan snorted.  "Tried that.  Didn't go so well.  Your turn."

“Yeah.  Sorry,” Duke sighed.  “Shit timing for me to start getting flashbacks.”

"Not like you chose to," Nathan pointed out, topping off Duke's glass.  "Flashbacks to?" he asked cautiously.

Duke hesitated. He didn't want to tell Nathan anything, didn't want to be seen _vulnerable_ like this, but fair was fair and Nathan had admitted what was bothering him. “What you said. 'Don’t be a baby.’ I used to hear that a lot from my dad.”

Nathan hesitated a moment, then reached over and squeezed Duke's shoulder.  "Your old man was an asshole."

“Yeah,” Duke nodded and leaned into Nathan's contact. 'Yeah’ didn't quite cover it. ‘Don't be a baby’ - that's what his dad said when Duke cried when his dad was yelling, when he cried when his dad hit him, when he cried because he didn't want to stitch up his dad’s wounds. ‘Don't be a baby’ - that's what Duke told himself as he watched his dad slip below the water. He didn't even cry. Not a baby any more. Not that he had _any intention_ of telling Nathan that. 'Yeah’ was a perfectly good response.

Nathan carefully slid his arm around Duke, watching for any indication the contact was unwelcome.

Duke glanced at him but accepted the contact that Nathan needed as much as he did. “How much did you know? About my dad and... everything else.”

"Knew he was a right bastard, that he hit you.  Told the Chief, he said he'd do what he could." Nathan said uncomfortably.  It hadn't occurred to him before that his innocent child's faith in his father might have been misplaced.

Duke snorted. “Yeah. He came round once. Spoke to my dad. That was a fun night,” his voice dripped with sarcasm, the last defence he had, because if he didn't stop talking soon, he was going to tell Nathan the whole sorry story and he still wasn't sure if that was a good idea.

"He should've got you out of there," Nathan said quietly.  It was no easy thing, admitting to his father's shortcomings - but he didn't imagine Duke would be able to relate.

“Just would've ended up with my mom sooner than I did,” Duke shrugged and finished his whisky, held out the glass again. “In fact, just pass me the bottle, Nate.”

"Not much better?" Nathan asked quietly, refilling his glass almost to the rim, but keeping hold of the bottle.

Maybe it was the drink or maybe it was having a sympathetic ear for the first time in his life but somehow Duke was talking, words falling from him as thoughts crashed through his head and suddenly he was telling Nathan everything.

He spoke about his mother, how social services had to track her down after his dad died and she came back. Begrudgingly. Gave Duke the bare minimum of care - one meal a day, when she remembered, a roof over his head, not much more. He started to steal food. He had to. It was that or starve to death and no bastard in Haven was going to help him. And then, when he was fourteen, she upped and left, popped by to collect the welfare check once a month, left Duke a few bucks towards the rent. 

So he started stealing, selling weed on the docks, anything he could do to make money. Most months he made enough to pay the rent but over the winter it came down to a choice between paying to heat the place and having enough money for food. When he was eighteen, the welfare checks stopped coming and so did his mother. He was on his own. He lost the apartment because, without his mother's meagre contributions, there was no way he could make the rent. So he was on the streets, sleeping in abandoned cabins and fishing sheds, in derelict buildings and construction sites. No one at school noticed. Sometimes he could sneak in and sleep there, at least the boiler room was warm. 

Some nights he couldn't even do that and the only thing between him and freezing to death was a thin sleeping bag that he'd pulled out a dumpster. Oh, occasionally he'd find a pretty girl (or guy, although that was difficult in small town America in the 'nineties), and he'd start the sweet talk and promises and he'd get a bed for the night and maybe breakfast in the morning (and yes, by the time he was twenty one, not long before he won the Rouge, maybe there were one or two nights he stood out on a street corner, offering blowjobs for ten bucks and desperately hoping someone would take him up on it because ten bucks would buy him a plate of waffles and a bottomless coffee and he could spend the night sitting in the diner where at least it was warm). That's how he got the reputation for being easy and maybe he deserved that but no one ever cared about the reason.  
  
Sometimes it was his charm that kept him alive, other times it was his ingenuity. Mostly it was his willingness to throw his morals out of the window and do what he had to do. And that never changed. His crimes grew, his cons became more developed, and suddenly he wasn't a petty thief any more, he was a full blown criminal and heading to prison.

He stopped talking as quickly as he'd started, exhausted, spent, and _fucking terrified_ that he'd just said all of that, to _Nathan_ of all people. “Nate, if you give even two shits about me, you'll walk outta here and pretend I never said a single word of this," he said, running his hands through his hair and looking anywhere except at Nathan.

Nathan’s stomach churned and he swallowed hard.  Things between them had been rough sometimes, antagonistic, but Duke had been his friend once.  Nathan hadn't been much of a friend in return, though, if he hadn't realized Duke was starving on the street.  "Not gonna arrest you," he managed, pitifully inadequate as that felt.

“Good to know,” Duke tried to smile, failed miserably, and drank again instead.

"Sorry I never knew," Nathan said quietly.

“Don't be. Just means that I succeeded in hiding it well. I didn't want anyone to know,” Duke was well aware that his speech was starting to slur. Another few drinks and he'd be well on his way to forgetting.

Nathan subtly pushed the bottle of whiskey away from Duke.  "Still.  A decent friend would've noticed.  And helped."

Duke shrugged and stretched past Nathan, the bottle of whisky now just out of his reach. “Either pass me the bottle or refill my glass. Please.” He didn't know whether to be grateful that Nathan was trying to stop him drinking or _pissed off_ that he was being deprived of _his own bottle_ of fucking whisky.

Nathan refilled the glass, if not as full as before.

“So...Troubles, huh?” Duke changed the subject.

Nathan grunted affirmatively, hoping Duke would drop it.

“Still want to fuck?” Duke murmured, leaning towards Nathan.

Nathan cupped Duke's face in his hands studying it for a moment before pronouncing,  "Yeah, but not gonna.  You be willing to put something in your stomach?"

Duke looked back at him, fighting the urge to pull away because Nathan was being gentle, tender, he was being _fucking nice_ and Duke didn't really know what to do with that. So he laughed. “Are you asking me if I swallow? Because you already know the answer to that, Nate.”

Nathan rolled his eyes.  "You got leftovers in the fridge, right?  If I reheat 'em, will you eat?"

“You don't have to do that,” Duke said as he tried to coordinate his limbs enough to stand up. “I'll do it. There's enough for both of us.”

Nathan helped him up, but steered him to the couch instead, and settled Duke there while he went into the kitchen to search for leftovers.

Duke tried to follow him but as soon as he stood up his head spun (or maybe it was the room spinning) and he sat back down on the couch with a heavy thud.

Nathan ignored him, knowing gravity would keep Duke on the couch whether he'd learned his lesson or not.  He pulled out a container labelled 'beef stew' and set it to reheat.  While it was in the microwave, he pulled out the pitcher of water from the fridge and brought it over to Duke with a clean glass.

Duke took it wordlessly, wisely deciding that asking for more whisky would _definitely not_ go down well, no matter how much he wanted to seek oblivion at the bottom of a bottle.

Nathan brought over the reheated stew in its tupperware and a spoon for Duke.  He then set about cleaning up the shattered glass and spilled whiskey.

“Nate, don't,” Duke tried. “I'll get that in the morning.”

"And step on it at two in the morning when you wake up for a piss and forget it's there?" Nathan shook his head and kept at it.

“Point,” Duke admitted. “Thanks.”

"Least I can do," Nathan shrugged.  By the time the glass was cleaned up, Duke had finished his stew.  "Here, lie down," Nathan came over to take the bowl and rinse it out.

Duke thought about resisting, really he did, but actually being looked after was...kinda nice. So, pretty much for the first time in his life, he did what he was told.

After rinsing the dishes and leaving them in the sink, Nathan came over to pull the blanket off the back of the couch and drape it over Duke, tucking one of the small decorative pillows under his head.  "Your door lock automatically when I leave?"

“Locks, doesn't bolt,” Duke mumbled, gazing up at Nathan and hoping to fuck that he didn't have a ridiculous sappy look on his face as he did so.

"That good enough?  Gonna feel safe?" Nathan asked.

Duke shrugged. “Drunk enough to not care.”

"In the morning when you're not?"

“I'll worry about it then.”

"All right.  Don't forget to stay lying on your left side.  Need anything else 'fore I head out?"

Duke shook his head, fighting to sober up enough to say what needed to be said. “Thanks. You didn't have to stay, to listen to me, to help me. But you did. You're a good friend.”

Nathan shook his head.  "A good friend wouldn't have forced you into a panic attack.  A good friend wouldn't have let all that happen to you in the first place."

“Don't, Nate,” Duke said quietly. “The panic attack wasn't your fault, I _like_ that stuff, it was just a poor choice of words and you couldn’t’ve known that was gonna happen. Same as you couldn't've known what was happening back then, I hid it well, didn't want anyone to know, and I succeeded. Till now. No one else knows. Just you.”

"No one else will," Nathan told him, changing the subject to hide how unconvinced he was.

“Thanks,” Duke said, stifling a yawn.

"Get some rest," Nathan said quietly.  "I'll make sure the door locks behind me."

“Thanks,” Duke said again, not trusting himself to say any more than that because - _god_ \- if the word _'stay’_ wasn't right on the tip of his tongue.

Nathan hesitated, then tucked the blanket a little more securely around him, double checked that the water was close at hand, and headed for the door.  He didn't like leaving Duke like that, but hopefully Duke would just sleep it off.

Duke heard the door click behind him and allowed his eyes to close, his head spinning with thoughts and emotions and arguably a few too many glasses of whisky. He fell asleep thinking of Nathan, unable to stop himself. Apparently all it took was for someone to be a little bit kind to him, show him some gentleness, and he was going to fall hard. And that was Not Good. Falling for a cop - for the Chief's son, no less - was not one of his better ideas. Especially not when Nathan was probably only doing the decent thing for someone who was upset, and didn't actually give a shit at all.

Nathan was quiet as he headed home, somber and pensive.  Duke's words hadn't assuaged any of the guilt he felt, and on top of that he was having to rearrange his whole perception of his old friend - a survivor, not a criminal.

******

Duke woke with a sore neck, a mouth that tasted like dead dog shit, a thumping headache and an overwhelming sense of _oh fuck_. He prowled around the Rouge, too hungover to go out, too restless to sleep more, and eventually picked his phone up to text Nathan ' _thanks_ '.

There was no reply so he followed it a couple of hours later with ' _still want to fuck? 8pm?_ '.  
  
There was no reply to that either. In fact, there was no sign of Nathan for _days_ and Duke resorted to parking illegally in front of police station _just to try to get a parking ticket_.  
  
That worked and it gave him the perfect excuse to storm into Nathan's office, brandishing the offending parking ticket and demanding to know why the fuck it had been on his windshield.

"You parked illegally," Nathan said blandly.  "Flagrantly so.  Can't tell me you weren't asking for that ticket."

Duke glared at him. “The legality, or otherwise, of my parking isn't really the point. I'll just put this one with the rest,” he said, tucking it into his pocket with every intention of dropping it into the next bin he came to.

"Then what is the point, do tell," Nathan asked dryly.

Duke moved closer to him, keeping his voice low as he perched on the edge of Nathan's desk. “The _point,_ Nathan, is that now I know you're still alive which confirms that you've been avoiding me for almost a week,” Duke said. “I had to resort to desperate measures. And now I know you're alive and well, I'm gonna go and leave you in peace.”

Nathan got up from his desk and went to close the door.  Thankfully the blinds were already closed, so this wouldn't look any more suspicious than it already was.  "Last time didn't go well.  Didn't figure trying again would be a good idea."

Now the door was closed, Duke leaned closer to Nathan. “I seem to remember several _very good_ times before the last one,” he said, moving away again. “And I already told you that wasn't your fault.”

Nathan shrugged.  "Fault doesn't matter.  Could still get it wrong.  Screw things up for you.  Again."

“I trust you not to.”

"I don't."

“There isn't much I can say to that, is there?” Duke turned to leave.

"Just don't want to hurt you," Nathan said very quietly.  "Figure more'n enough people already have."

Duke turned back and shrugged. “Like I said. I trust you not to.”

"Hell of a lot of trust.  Can't say I've earned it."

Duke studied him. Ok, so Nathan hadn't been avoiding him, Nathan had been avoiding feeling his own guilt. And now wasn't really the time or place to address that. “Come round later? No sex, just dinner.” The sound of blood rushing through his ears was deafening. That was a hell of a risk to take, dinner sounded awfully close to a _date_ and that wasn't really something they did. Probably wasn't something Nathan wanted. But he'd said it now and he'd have to deal with the rejection, the apologetic look in Nathan's eyes as he said no.

Nathan looked surprised, but not apologetic.  "Ok.  Want me to pick up something?  Food, beer?"

“Beer,” Duke decided, suppressing his grin. “I'll cook. Eight-ish ok?”

"Sure, but you don't have to cook," Nathan protested.  "I'm fine with whatever."  In spite of his objections, he remembered the scent of the beef stew he'd reheated for Duke, and his stomach growled happily.

“I'll cook,” Duke insisted, already halfway out of the door, his mind running through lists of ingredients. “See ya later,” he called back.

"Later," Nathan called, bewildered.  What had just happened?

*****

Nathan stood on the dock that evening, looking up at the Rouge, feeling self-conscious and wondering why.

Inside, Duke cast a glance over the room. He'd aimed for casual over date-like and he could only hope he'd succeeded. He checked the clock. Nathan should be here any minute and why did that thought make him so stupidly _nervous._

Nathan shook himself, as if he could physically shake off doubt and hesitation, and strode up the gangplank to knock on the hatch of the Rouge.

Duke's heart gave a _stupid leap_ and he strode over to open the door. “Nate,” he greeted casually.

"Hey Duke," Nathan offered the beer he'd brought.

“Thanks,” Duke took it from him and put the bottles in the fridge before returning with two of them. He passed one to Nathan and raised his in a toast. “To not avoiding each other,” he said with a smirk.

Nathan smiled wryly and clinked the neck and base of his bottle against Duke's.

“Grab a seat, dinner'll only be a minute,” Duke said, already on his way back to the kitchen when a sudden thought occurred to him. “Lasagna ok? Sorry, I should've asked.”

"Anything's fine.  It smells great," Nathan said honestly.

Duke grinned. “Ok. Back in a minute.” He quickly dished up the food, added a sprinkling of parsley and delivered the plates to the table, setting Nathan's down with a flourish.

"Thanks.  I meant when I said you didn't have to go to this much trouble."

“It wasn't trouble,” Duke said. “I always make extra sauce to go in the freezer, just had to defrost it, assemble it into a lasagna and cook it. Easy.” Ok, so maybe that wasn't strictly the truth, he'd made the sauce today but he _had_ made extra for the freezer so maybe it wasn't strictly a lie either. Whatever. “Thanks for coming. Wasn't sure if you'd show.”

"Guess maybe avoidance wasn't the best idea," Nathan admitted.  He took a bite of the lasagna and his eyes widened.  "Oh my god, you made this?  It's amazing!"

Duke positively lit up, basking in the compliment. “Thanks,” he grinned.

Nathan's words matched his actions, devouring the food with almost embarrassing speed.  

“It's ok, then?” Duke smiled. He didn't often get the chance to cook for other people and watching Nathan enjoying the food gave him an incredible (and perhaps faintly ridiculous) sense of achievement - it was just dinner, after all, nothing different to what he would have made for himself, but there was that little look of pleasure on Nathan's face that made his heart jump.

"It's incredible.  Where'd you learn to cook like this?"

“Here and there,” Duke smiled. Good memories. “Learned this recipe while I was in Italy, not long after I left here. Ended up staying with this girl I met. It was her grandmother's recipe. I think they might have disowned her for giving it to me.”

"Hope not," Nathan smiled uncertainly, unsure if Duke was joking.

Duke laughed. “I think she deliberately left out one tiny ingredient when she wrote it down because I've never been able to get it exactly the same as she made it. But it's still pretty good.”

"It's more than good, Duke, if all your cooking's like this then you could start your own restaurant."

“Me? Make an honest living? Yeah, no, I can't see that happening, can you?”

Nathan just shrugged.

“Don't get me wrong, I'd _like_ to, Nate. The import/export business isn't what it's cracked up to be, even when the stuff I'm moving is entirely legal. Which, of course, is all of the time,” Duke smirked slightly. “But it takes money, which I don't have enough of, and knowledge, which I could probably learn but from who? Who in Haven is gonna trust a crook in their restaurant?”

"This town really never did give you a chance, did it," Nathan said quietly.

“No. Should never have come back. Especially if what you said about the Troubles is right. Should've stayed away. Or I should be packing my stuff and sailing outta here.”

"All honesty, you should," Nathan agreed somberly.  "Get the hell out while you still can, save yourself."

Duke nodded. “Should. Won't.”

"Why not?" Nathan asked.

A brief hesitation as Duke contemplated the answer to that. “Because my dad made me promise. It was pretty much the last thing he said to me before he died. I think it was the only thing he ever said to me that mattered to him. And I have no idea why. Our family isn't Troubled, I don't know why he thought I should be here. I don't know why it matters so damn much. But here I am. Because apparently a promise I made to my dead dad twenty seven years ago means more to me than saving my own skin.”

"He made you promise to come back and stay, or just to come back?  Because if you promised to come back, you have - promise kept, now go save your own skin."

Duke shook his head.  “I can’t do that.”

Nathan started to say something, stopped, then said, "Guess I'm no one to talk."

“Yeah,” Duke sighed.  “Not gonna be much fun, is it?”

"No," Nathan said quietly.  "I don't remember much - when you're a kid, there's a lot you miss, and I was focused on my own problems like kids are.  But I remember fear, I remember kids missing, kids who'd lost family.  People are going to die, Duke.  I'll save the ones I can, that's my job, but it's not your job.  You don't have to be here.  You don't have to risk ending up on the lists of the dead."

Duke nodded slowly. “Someone’s gotta have your back. Might as well be me.”

"Duke.  I've got the entire Haven PD at my back.  You don't have to do this.  Don't get me wrong, means the world that you'd offer, after everything.  But I don't want to see you come to a bad end."

“I won't,” Duke shrugged. “I can look after myself. Like I said, me being here was the only thing that seemed to matter to my dad. I need to know why.”

"Doesn't seem like it could be anything good," Nathan said darkly.

Duke laughed bitterly. “Nothing my old man was involved in is anything good. Doesn't change the fact that I want to know.”

"Just…be careful, okay?  I don't want the next Crocker funeral I attend to be yours," Nathan said quietly.

“Aww, Nate, anyone'd think you care,” Duke smirked, trying to cover the fact that Nathan's concern for his well being actually _meant something_ to him.

"This isn't a damn joke, Duke," Nathan got up and cleared the empty dishes angrily, metal and ceramic rattling.

Duke winced. “I know it isn't a joke, Nathan,” he said quietly, hunched over the table. “Nothing about my life is, or ever has been, a joke. But humour and sarcasm is all I've got, which makes me pretty much useless. I'm staying anyway.”

"Wish you wouldn't," Nathan said softly.

“Why, Nate?” Duke ran his hand across his face. “After everything I did to you, why do you give a shit what happens to me?”

Nathan rinsed the dishes, using the excuse of the noise to blatantly stall.  "Don't rightly know," he finally said.

Duke nodded. “I don't know why you do either. I don't deserve that from you. For what it's worth, I'm sorry. For everything. Except the parking tickets. I'm not sorry for those.”

Nathan rolled his eyes as he came back and sat down.  "Not like I'm any better.  M'sorry too."

Duke drained the last of his beer. “Thanks.”

"So…now what?"

“Now what is up to you,” Duke said quietly, leaning in towards Nathan, his hand resting on the table between them.

Nathan looked down at Duke's hand, wanting to reach out and take it.  "We could...could we maybe...try again?"

Duke smiled slowly, a dozen responses on the tip of his tongue, questions he wanted answers to ( _what is this, Nate? Will you avoid me again? Am I going to get my fucking heart broken here?)_. In the end, he settled for leaning across the table, resting his hand on Nathan's jaw, and kissing him.

Kissing had never been a part of their trysts, hurried and secretive and purely about achieving climax.  Nathan felt a dozen different emotions and even more questions flying frantically around his mind as Duke leaned across the table, but he didn't pull away.  His eyes fell closed at the soft press of lips and, without even thinking about it, he kissed back, hungry and desperate.

That was...not the response Duke had been expecting. In fact, if he was honest, he'd half been expecting Nathan to run away, maybe punch him, explain that it was just sex and kissing wasn't part of that. But he didn't. He kissed back like it was the last time he'd ever be kissed. And maybe it would be - so Duke put _everything_ into that one kiss, took all of his emotions and kept his lips pressed to Nathan's even as he stood up. He took Nathan's hand, pulling him along with him, still kissing as he dragged him towards the bedroom.

Nathan went along eagerly, still devouring Duke's mouth, his hands slipping under Duke's shirts to seek out warm skin.

This time it was Duke's turn to push Nathan against the bedroom wall, holding him there with their bodies pressed together, still kissing, tongues and lips moving against each other. Nathan's hands were still under his shirts, sending sparks of arousal across his skin, and Duke stopped kissing and leaned back. His hips held Nathan in place as he pulled off his layers and then slowly - so slowly - unbuttoned Nathan's shirt.

"Duke, hurry up, I want you," Nathan said, breathless and seemingly determined to touch every last inch of Duke's bared skin.

 _Oh god,_ Duke couldn't resist those words and his fingers tore at Nathan's shirt, yanking it out of his pants and pulling it off. He pressed against Nathan, bare chest to bare chest, Nathan’s skin hot against his own as he kissed him hard.

Nathan groaned against Duke's mouth, his hands snaking between them to undo Duke's pants.

Duke pulled away, just enough to slide his pants down and kick them off. “What do you want, Nate?” He murmured as he pressed Nathan against the wall again, trailing soft kisses down his neck.

Nathan moaned and tilted his head back, giving Duke more room to work.  "Wanna fuck you, Duke."

“Mm-hmm,” Duke mumbled his agreement into Nathan's neck, his lips moving softly against the skin, interspersing the kisses with little nips. His fingers deftly undid Nathan's belt and slid his pants down his thighs. He palmed over the bulge in Nathan's briefs, leaving his hand there as he whispered into Nathan's ear. “Want that too.”

"God, Duke," Nathan groaned, pushing off the wall and pulling Duke over to the bed, where he hurriedly stripped out of his briefs.

Duke went with him and waited patiently while Nathan kicked off his briefs. As soon as he stood up again, Duke pounced. He pushed Nathan down onto the bed, laughing slightly as he did so, and half fell on top of him. He caught his weight on his arms at the last minute and covered Nathan's body with his own, barely an inch between them as he pressed his lips to Nathan's once again.

Nathan kissed back eagerly, his hands going to Duke's ass and squeezing, pulling his hips against him and grinding impatiently.

 _Fuck_. If that wasn't the hottest thing ever. Duke moaned against Nathan's mouth and slipped his hand between them, his fingers grasping Nathan firmly.

Nathan gasped a curse, his hands tightening on Duke's ass.  "Tell me you've got supplies."

“You have to ask?” Duke murmured softly against Nathan's neck, his lips just brushing the skin before he rolled off and reached into the nightstand. He passed a small bottle of lube and a condom to Nathan. “Where would you like me?”

Nathan considered that as he rolled on the condom and slicked himself.  They didn't usually do this face to face, but…"Middle of the bed, on your back, spread 'em."

Duke felt himself twitch in response and he nodded. His mouth was dry and he swallowed the smart ass comment he was about to make, opting instead to _do what he was told._ That was becoming a bit of a habit, he thought wryly, and then Nathan was touching him again and he couldn't think any more.

Nathan wrapped his slick hand around Duke's length and stroked slowly, his other hand cupping and rolling his balls for a moment before slipping lower, rubbing over Duke's entrance, coating it thoroughly.

“Fuck,” Duke groaned. He opened his legs wider, giving Nathan easier access. “Hurry up,” he urged.

"God, that's so fucking hot," Nathan groaned, sliding a finger past the tight ring of muscle.

Duke made a wordless sound of agreement as he pushed back against Nathan, encouraging him.

Nathan added another finger, impatient but knowing better than to hurry.  "You want it so damn bad, don't you?  Tell me, Duke."

Two fingers, twisting inside him, and Duke could feel the stretch. “Yeah, I want it,” he growled. “I want _you_ , so fucking hurry up.”

Nathan kissed him fiercely, adding another finger and stretching a little more before pulling them out and wiping them off.

Duke moaned slightly at the lost contact. “Fuck me, Nate,” he said, trying to be seductive but sounding more like he was begging. Maybe he was.

Nathan wasted no time lifting Duke's hips and aligning himself, sliding in with a deep groan.

Duke breathed through the sharp burn, his eyes on Nathan, the first time he'd been able to see Nathan's face while they fucked, and there was _something_ in Nathan's expression, something which wasn't _love,_ exactly (not that Duke had any idea what that looked like), but maybe it wasn't so far away either. It took Duke's breath away and as Nathan slid deeper inside him, he let out a soft moan of satisfaction.

"You're so fucking good, Duke," Nathan panted, holding still to allow Duke to adjust, his intense gaze on Duke's face.

“Fuck, Nate,” Duke breathed, arching his back and encouraging Nathan to _move_.

Nathan started a rhythm, slow at first but quickly picking up speed in his impatience.

Duke wrapped his legs around Nathan's waist, moving with him. “Faster,” he urged, knowing that Nathan would try to hold back, to be considerate, and that wasn't what either of them needed right now.

Nathan moaned and thrust harder, faster, deeper, a whine building in the back of his throat.

“Oh god, Nate, you're so good, fuck me,” Duke kept pace with him, his fingers curling in the sheets.

“Yes, Duke, god, so hot and tight, feels so good, want you so much," Nathan moaned.

His words sent a shiver down Duke's spine. He was so hard it almost hurt and he wrapped his fingers around himself, moving in time with Nathan’s thrusts.

Nathan leaned down to kiss him desperately, frantically, as if he couldn't bear not to.

Duke kissed him back, just as desperate. Hungry. He knew he'd never get enough of kissing Nathan. Of fucking Nathan. “So close,” he mumbled into Nathan's mouth.

Nathan reached down, wrapping his hand around Duke's length, joining Duke in stroking him off.

“Fuck,” Duke breathed, the word long and drawn out. He arched into Nathan's hand, finding the rhythm that worked for them both. “Waiting for you, Nate,” he said, teeth gritted with the effort of _holding back._

"Don't hold back, I wanna watch you come," Nathan told him, shifting his hand so he could reach behind Duke's balls to rub the sensitive spot there.

Duke let out a soft whine and started to move his hand faster, harder. And Nathan was watching him, that gaze fixed on his face, and Duke half wanted to close his eyes against the intensity of it.

"Do it, Duke, come for me," Nathan urged, only barely holding back himself.

As if he'd been waiting to hear those words (and maybe he had been), Duke did, whispering curses as he reached his climax.

Nathan groaned, pushed over the edge himself by the sight, the sound, the exquisite feel of Duke's climax.

Duke wrapped his arms around Nathan and pulled him close. He pressed his lips to Nathan's, kissing softly as they came back down.

Nathan gave a quiet, sated sigh as he returned the kiss.

After a moment, Duke reached for the tissues on the nightstand. He took a handful for himself and passed the box to Nathan. “So, uh, that was... different…” He said, suddenly shy and awkward.

"Yeah," Nathan agreed pensively.  "You ok?"

“Yeah,” Duke said, kicking himself for such a terse reply because if ever there was a time to be _honest_ , it was now. He took a deep breath. “It was good. _You_ were good. Great,” - _fuck,_ what was he saying - “Nathan, you blew my fucking mind and I'd really like to do this again.” That was better. Maybe.

Nathan actually blushed at the praise, pink spreading across his cheeks and turning the tips of his ears red.  "Thanks.  I, uh…yeah.  Same," he managed lamely, feeling a complete idiot.

Duke grinned and his heart jumped. It briefly crossed his mind that now would be a good time to _shut up_ and drop it and maybe (just maybe) see if cuddling was a possibility. But he'd never been one to _stop pushing_ and the Troubles were back and he didn't think he was being overly dramatic to have the view that one of them might die any day now so shutting up wasn't really an option. He propped himself up on his elbows. “I mean... I don't want it to be just sex any more, Nate.” And then he stopped breathing because he had _no idea_ what Nathan's response might be and he wasn't really ready to hear Nathan say that that wasn't what he wanted (oh, he knew Nathan would be gentle about it, but a no is a no, however much it's dressed up).

Nathan looked baffled, his face even more red.  After a long moment of confusion, he managed. "Me?  What?  Why?"

Duke stared back at him. However he thought this conversation might go, this wasn't it. “Yes, you. Not just sex, dating and shit. Because I like you,” he tried to answer all of Nathan's questions in one breath and he wasn't entirely sure he hadn't turned as red as Nathan was.

"But I'm a cop.  You _hate_ cops," Nathan said bewildered.

“Yeah,” Duke agreed. “Still been fucking you for the past three months so apparently I don't hate all cops.”

Nathan blushed all over again.  "That was just sex.  And I can't even figure out why you wanted that.  You could have anyone."

“You wanted it to be just sex.”

"I...what else would it have been?  Hell, after the first time I was half convinced you were gonna laugh at me, post pictures or videos somewhere.  Or blackmail me.  Because why the hell else would you want me?"

“You really thought I'd do that?” Duke said quietly.

"No," Nathan said frankly.  "But I sure as hell couldn't see any other reason you'd want in my pants."

“Good, because I never would. Whatever else I am, Nate, I'm not like that,” Duke said, not sure whether he should be more hurt that the thought had even crossed Nathan's mind that he might laugh or blackmail.

"I know that now.  I'm sorry," Nathan said quietly.  "Wasn't that I thought so little of you, for what that's worth.  S'that I thought so little of me."

Duke nodded. That he could understand. That lack of self esteem that was _so strong_ that questioning everyone else's motives became an everyday occurrence. “You shouldn't. Think so little of yourself, I mean.”

"Hard not to," Nathan shrugged.

“Yeah, it is, and if all of this is your roundabout way of saying you don't want to date me then I'd rather you just said so. It can be just sex, if you want it to be, or you can walk outta here and not see me again until the next time you arrest me,” Duke said, inwardly cursing his ability to never _stop pushing_.

"I didn't say that," Nathan protested.  "It's just…a week ago I thought you were a criminal who didn't even like me and was just…I dunno, using me to get off.  Now I know none of that is true plus you're staying to help with the Troubles even though you should run and now not only don't you dislike me you want to date me and Duke, my head is kinda spinning from all this."

“Yeah, sorry,” Duke said sheepish and embarrassed. “Tell you what, forget I said anything, take your time, figure out what you want - if anything - I'll still be here. Whatever you decide and whenever you need me to be.”

"Seems pretty hard on you," Nathan said softly.

Duke shrugged. “I'm not important,” he said, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"What?  Duke, no, of course you're important!" Nathan exclaimed.

“Really not,” Duke said. “And that's not what we were discussing. I know I've just thrown this stuff at you out of nowhere but I never hated you, Nate. It was never about that for me. It was just easier to keep up that pretence than to have this discussion. And if you don't mind, I'd rather drop it. You know where I stand. There isn't much else to say.”

Nathan leaned in and kissed him firmly.  "You _are_ important," he told Duke.

Kissing. Kissing was very much back in Duke's comfort zone but it was over too quickly and then Nathan _said that_ and Duke had to remind himself that Nathan was just being _nice_. “Maybe,” he murmured and leaned in to kiss Nathan again.

Nathan allowed the kiss, returned it, even.  "I mean it," he said when they broke for air.  "You're important, Duke.  You matter."

“Just not enough,” Duke said bitterly because that pretty much summed up his life. Well, love life anyway. Good enough to fuck, not good enough to love. Or even date. He leaned in to kiss again.

"Duke, I'm sorry," Nathan said softly.  "It wasn't a no, okay?  I just need some time to get my head on straight."

Duke shook his head. “No, I'm sorry, I sprang this on you. Should've been honest from the start or never said anything. I just thought…” he stopped. “Doesn't matter what I thought. Take your time, I didn't mean to put any pressure on you.”

"Duke.  You know I wouldn't do this with just anyone, right?"

A brief hesitation as Duke thought on that for a moment. “Yeah, I know.”

Nathan reached out and touched Duke's cheek.  "Think there could really be something here," he said quietly.  "You trust me enough to let it happen, 'stead of pushing?"

Duke turned his face towards the gentle contact, allowing himself - just for that moment - to be vulnerable. He nodded. “I trust you.”

Nathan gave him a small smile, leaning in for another kiss - soft and gentle this time.

Duke kissed him back, just as softly, just as gently, accepting Nathan's tenderness and returning it.

Nathan pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Duke.

The moment Nathan's arms closed around him, Duke knew he was lost. Until then, he might ( _might_ ) have been able to walk away with his heart mostly intact but now…? Yeah, no, there was no walking away. No matter what. So he wrapped his arms around Nathan, pressing their bodies together once again, and buried his face in Nathan's neck.

Nathan held Duke against him, nuzzling gently into the soft dark hair.  This felt...really nice.

Nathan was warm, solid, against him, all sharp angles and strong arms and _fucking dependable_. Duke settled into him. If _this_ was only ever happening once then he fully intended to make the most of it.

He could get used to this, Nathan mused as he nuzzled Duke's ear.

His breath was hot against Duke's skin, raising goosebumps on his neck. Duke shivered lightly and tightened his arms around Nathan.

"Good?" Nathan murmured, nibbling experimentally.  For all their trysts, they hadn't explored one another's bodies much, always too impatient to get to the main event.

“Yeah,” Duke whispered back, and turned his head to give Nathan space to explore, subtly directing him to the sensitive spot on his neck, just below his ear.

Nathan found the spot soon enough, kissing softly.

Duke moaned, soft, breathless, unrestrained. His fingers ran through Nathan's hair, gently scratching the nape of his neck as he held Nathan close.

Intrigued, Nathan focused on the sensitive spot, flicking his tongue out, blowing a puff of warm air over the damp skin.

“Nate,” Duke whined softly, his fingers lightly trailing down Nathan's neck and across his shoulders.

"Good?" Nathan asked again, nipping at the spot.

“So good,” Duke murmured his response, his fingers tightening on Nathan's shoulder.

"How many more spots like this you got?" Nathan asked, before pressing a wet sucking kiss against the sensitive skin.

“Try me and find out,” Duke grinned.

Nathan worked his way down Duke's neck in a thorough and leisurely fashion, his hands spreading out over Duke's chest and stomach.  

“There,” Duke whined as Nathan’s fingers brushed over his ribs.

Nathan left off his work on Duke's neck to focus on his ribs.  His expression was intense but as the same time a little bittersweet, almost melancholy.

“Nate?”  Duke said softly as he gently pushed at Nathan’s shoulder.  “Here.  Lie down.”

Nathan allowed Duke to settle him on the bed.  He didn't ask anything, but the look he gave Duke was questioning.

“Just keep still,” Duke told him in what he hoped was a reassuring tone.  His body covering Nathan’s, he leaned in for a kiss, deep and passionate and insistent, before he trailed his lips down Nathan’s neck, alternating soft kisses with gentle nibbles, searching for Nathan’s sweet spots.

Nathan made little soft sounds whenever Duke found one - there were plenty to find - and wrapped his arms around Duke.  "Wanted to do that for you."

“You can,” Duke murmured between kisses, his hands roaming every inch of Nathan’s skin.  “Later.  You first.”

Not content to simply lie still, Nathan traced his hands over Duke's back, wanting to know if Duke had any sensitive spots there.

“Lower,” Duke directed him, shifting so that Nathan could reach.  He let out a soft gasp and shivered as Nathan’s fingers found _that spot_ , right at the junction of where his ass met his thighs.  Distracted as he was, he still didn’t let up on searching out what Nathan liked best and he nuzzled into Nathan’s neck.

"Huh," Nathan said.  He wouldn't have expected that to be a sensitive spot, and he took full advantage.

“Fuck,” Duke breathed more than said the word.  “Nate, the things you do to me…”

Nathan grinned, and flipped them so Duke was on his back.  "Gonna do plenty more," he told Duke, licking a stripe along his collarbone before kissing downward.

Duke laughed softly as Nathan flipped them, ran his hands across Nathan’s back and down over his ass, squeezing hard.

"Grabby," Nathan smirked, using his mouth to find all the sensitive places his hands had mapped out earlier.

“That a complaint?”  Duke smirked back at him before Nathan’s lips hit the spot on his ribs and all he could do was whine.

Nathan chuckled softly, sucking a red spot on the soft skin.

Duke ran his fingers through Nathan’s hair, tugging gently.  “I want to do all this for you, too.”

"You can - later," Nathan smirked, working his way down, his hands exploring Duke's thighs.

“You know you aren’t as funny as you think y…” Duke’s words were cut short, turned into a low moan as Nathan’s hands and lips moved over him and _how the hell_ was he ready for round two already because that hadn’t happened for more years than he really cared to think about right now and apparently all it took was _Nathan_.

Nathan bit lightly at Duke's hipbone, tongue flicking along the crease between torso and thigh.  Long fingers traced patterns on the tender skin of Duke's inner thighs.

“Oh god, Nate, that’s so good,” Duke groaned, shivering under Nathan’s touch.

Nathan looked pleased at the praise, shifting down further to kiss and lick a particularly sensitive spot on Duke's inner thigh.

“So good,” Duke said again, his voice thick with arousal.

Nathan ran his fingertips over Duke's arousal, stroking lightly, teasing.  "What do you want, Duke?"

“Fuck,” Duke breathed, his hips pushing up towards Nathan's touch. “Your hand, your mouth, anything.”

Nathan took the tip and upper part of the shaft in hand as he slowly kissed upward, lips lingering on the heavy sac between Duke's legs.

Duke swore again. “You're just enjoying teasing me, aren't you?”

"Yup," Nathan smirked.  "Can't tell me you're not enjoying it too, though."

“Shut up and get on with it,” Duke growled.

"Impatient," Nathan teased, taking the sacs in his mouth and sucking gently.

“Yeah,” Duke said breathlessly. “And whose fault is that?”

"My fault?  Does that mean you want me to stop?" Nathan asked innocently, rubbing his thumb over the tip.

“Fuck, no,” Duke whined. Stopping was the last thing on his mind.

"What do you want then?" Nathan murmured, his hand doing a slow twisting slide over Duke's length.

Duke shivered, every muscle in his body tensing. “More,” he whispered. “Faster, harder, _anything,_ just... _more_.”

Nathan pressed his lips to the base, soft kisses and light sucking.  His other hand cradled Duke's balls, caressing the hot skin.  "Are you close?"

“So fucking close,” Duke moaned. “Nate, _please_.”

"I want you to tell me something," Nathan said, licking along Duke's shaft.

A whispered curse fell from Duke's lips. “Anything.”

"Tell me you're a good person, Duke," Nathan said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the tender skin.

“What?” Duke's tone was sharp, defensive. Whatever he'd been expecting, that wasn't it.

"You're a good man, Duke.   I want to hear you say it," Nathan said, wrapping his tongue around the tip.

“Nate,” Duke closed his eyes, trying to do something, anything, to get away from the intensity. Hearing those words from Nathan had released something in him and he tried to shut down, to escape into his mind, but Nathan's tongue was still on him and he couldn't say what Nathan wanted him to.

"Please, Duke.  I want to hear you say it," Nathan said softly, working him carefully with hands and mouth, keeping him right on the very edge.

“Fuck,” Duke almost shouted with frustration. “I can't, Nate, please,” he whined.

"Just try?  For me?" Nathan asked softly.

Duke shook his head, biting his lip and stifling what might have been a sob. He raged inwardly at himself. Five small words. Tiny words. He didn't have to believe it, he just had to _say_ it, but he couldn't even do that and Nathan's hand and mouth were still on him, keeping him right on the very edge, and _fuck it_. “Nate, please,” he tried again.

Nathan looked sad for a moment before taking Duke's length in his mouth and sucking hard.

Duke let out a low, deep, moan of satisfaction. “Fuck, Nathan, you're so good,” he tried to keep still, to not move, to let Nathan _do this_. It felt like only seconds before he was growling a warning. “Gonna come.”

Nathan rubbed his tongue over the hot wet skin, humming quietly.

“God,” Duke choked out, his pleasure finally peaking, and he spilled into Nathan's mouth.

Nathan managed to swallow and shifted back up the bed, taking Duke in his arms.

Duke curled in on himself, so many emotions flooding through him, and buried his face in Nathan's neck. Two minutes, he told himself. Two minutes to be vulnerable, because that was _intense_.

Nathan held Duke close, rubbing his back, cheek resting against the sweat-damp dark hair.

Duke relaxed into the contact, gathering his thoughts. “Thanks,” he said eventually, mumbling into Nathan's neck. “For what you said.”

"S' true," Nathan told him, running his fingers through Duke's hair.

Duke made a noncommittal noise. “It's kinda not, but it means a lot that you think that of me.”

"It's true," Nathan said firmly.

“Nate,” Duke started to argue before he thought better of it. Now wasn't the time. Instead, he shifted awkwardly in Nathan's arms, trying to wriggle out of his embrace without actually breaking it. He leaned in for a kiss, his hand gently cupping Nathan's face.

Nathan obliged him, contentedly returning the kiss.

“At some point,” Duke murmured after he'd broken away. “At some point, I'll tell you exactly what it means to me that you believe that. But not now. Now,” he grinned. “I want get back to searching for all those sensitive spots you think you can hide.”

Nathan obligingly lay back, but there was something dark in his eyes, there for just a moment and then gone again as he pushed it back under.

It didn't go unnoticed by Duke and maybe it would've been kinder to let it slide but...no. “Hey,” he said softly. “Ok?”

"Fine," Nathan lied.

Duke studied him, his eyes narrowed as he tried to decide whether to call Nathan on the lie. “Ok,” he shrugged. “I'll rephrase. Is this ok?”

"Yeah absolutely," Nathan agreed.  He hesitated for a moment before adding, "Just don't want to bring the mood down.  Let it go."

“It's dropped,” Duke replied, without a single beat of hesitation. If there was one thing he understood, it was needing to _not talk_ about things. He leaned in for another kiss, a brief brush of lips against lips. “Turn over,” he murmured.

Nathan turned over, looking back over his shoulder at Duke.  They hadn't done things the other way around - was that what Duke had planned?

“Don't look so worried,” Duke smiled. “Massage.”

Nathan looked a bit sheepish.  "Right," he said, settling back down.

Duke waited until he was comfortable, then started moving his hands across Nathan's back and shoulders. Light strokes interspersed with firmer ones, seeking the knots in Nathan's muscles and massaging them out when he found them.

Nathan gave a soft moan, his muscles all but melting under Duke's skillful ministrations.  It was intense and pleasurable, practically divine.  It hit Nathan all of a sudden that he was about to lose everything he was discovering with Duke, and he was horrified to find tears running down his face.

Without a word, Duke lay down and stretched out on the bed beside Nathan. He pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him tightly as he tried to work out what the hell was going on.

Nathan hid his face in Duke's neck, mortified.  "M'fine," he mumbled thickly.

“I know I give a good massage, Nate, but I don't think I've ever made anyone cry before,” Duke joked weakly.

"Shuddup," Nathan muttered, curling closer in spite of his words.

“When have I ever shut up because you've told me to?” Duke smirked and held Nathan tighter.

Nathan allowed himself the comfort until he could get himself under control, then he tried to pull away and sit up.

Duke wanted to hold onto him, wanted to keep him close and take away whatever was making Nathan hurt so much. That probably wasn't what Nathan needed, though, so - reluctantly - he let him go and sat beside him.

"It's stupid," Nathan mumbled.  "Nothing I didn't already know."

“What's stupid?” Duke asked, even though he half knew already. Suspected, anyway.

"Getting upset over the inevitable," Nathan muttered.

Duke turned towards him and placed his fingers on Nathan's jaw, gently but insistently turning Nathan's face towards him. “Hey,” he said, quiet but determined. “Don't. Don't beat yourself up for being upset over it.”

Nathan's face was stony, but his eyes held such despair it took Duke's breath away.  "There's no point.  Everything I can feel, everything we discover and do, it's all gone.  Find my sensitive spots?  Why?  What's the use?  Couple days, couple weeks, maybe a month, and I'll be as useless as a damn blow up doll.  You said you wanted more but we won't have even this."

“What's the use? So you can experience as much pleasure as possible between now and then. Maybe we can't stop it from happening but I can give you that at least,” Duke said, his voice low, his fingers still on Nathan's jaw, not letting him look away. “And this? This isn't the only thing I'm here for and I'm trying to work out if I should be insulted by the fact that you think that's all I want.”

"It's just one more thing I'll lose," Nathan said bleakly.

“Ok,” Duke said quietly. “There's no pressure here, Nate. You know what's best for you.”

"No such thing," Nathan said miserably.

Duke ran his thumb over Nathan's cheek. “No, I guess not. But you know what you need and I'm here, whatever, whenever you need it. Whether that's sex, or massage, or being held all night, a simple hug or a friendly ear and a bottle of whisky. If you want nothing else, at least let me be your friend.”

Nathan reached and out took Duke's hand, holding tight and leaning against him, hating his weakness but desperate for touch.

“C’mere,” Duke murmured, lying down and pulling Nathan alongside him. He closed his arms around Nathan, not moving, not stroking, just holding him tight.

Nathan wrapped himself around Duke, practically burrowing against him.

Duke held him tighter, bodies pressed together, his arms around Nathan, his leg thrown over Nathan's thighs, wrapping him in a full body embrace.

Nathan pressed his face against Duke's neck.  He didn't want to lose this, he'd give anything not to, but it didn't matter.

Duke swallowed the words in his throat - the words _sorry_ and _thank you_ and _let me be here for you._ Whatever he might need to say, Nathan didn't need to hear. Not now. That huge _loss_ that Nathan was facing...yeah, no, words meant nothing against that. So he stayed silent and let Nathan cling to him for as long as he needed to.

"Sorry," Nathan mumbled against his skin, barely intelligible.  "Stupid, I know."

“Don’t apologize,” Duke said quietly.  “It’s not stupid.”

After a long moment, Nathan said very quietly.  "What if it's permanent this time?  Not months or years even, but just…forever."

Duke hesitated, trying to work out how to answer that.  “Troubles have always gone away before.  No reason to think it’ll be any different this time round.”

"Do we know that?  I don't know anything about this shit," Nathan said, frustrated.  "Why they come, why they go, what they are, what to do - this town's about to fall into hell and there's not a damn thing I'm prepared for."

“It’s not all on your shoulders, Nate.”

"No?  Who else's?  Protect and serve, Duke.  S'why I joined up.  It is _literally_ my job."

“Yeah, you and the rest of Haven PD.  Not just you.”

"I know.  But I'm the chief's right-hand man, second in charge."

“Yeah,” Duke said quietly, the thought suddenly occurring to him just how much danger they - particularly Nathan - were in.   _Protect and Serve_ , the motto of police departments up and down the country and he’d always thought that was such _bullshit_ but now… Now he knew without a shadow of a doubt that if it came down to protecting himself or protecting a citizen of Haven, Nathan would lay his life on the line without a moment’s hesitation.  And that thought terrified him.

Nathan stirred and leaned up to kiss Duke.  "I want to forget about all this for a bit.  You?"

Duke nodded.  “Whatever you need.”

"What about what you need?" Nathan asked.

“Already done that.  The rest is about you.”

"You sure?" Nathan cupped Duke's cheek and kissed him softly.

“Very sure,” Duke smiled.  “Let me do this for you, whatever it is that you want.  Need.  Anything.”

"Why, Duke?" Nathan asked softly.  "I've never done right by you.  Why go so far?"

“Because,” Duke hesitated, not entirely sure how to answer that.  “Because you’re _you_.  Because you’re doing right by me now.  Because this was never just about sex for me and somewhere along the way _feelings_ happened and I have no fucking idea how to deal with that.  The same as I have no fucking idea how to help you with what you’re facing.  Except this.  This, I can do.  So let me.  Please.”

Nathan brushed a thumb over Duke's cheek.  "Never?  All this time, it was never just sex?"

“Maybe at the very start.  Sex and pushing your buttons.  Trying to get you to notice me, same way I always used to.  But no, it hasn’t been just about sex for a long time,” it crossed Duke’s mind that telling Nathan that was probably a huge mistake but the thought of Nathan dying in the course of the Troubles, the thought of what Nathan was facing losing, made him determined to be _honest_.  For once in his life, he wasn’t going to _hide_.

"Must've really hurt you," Nathan said softly.

Duke shrugged.  “The alternative was worse.”

Nathan hugged Duke closer.  "Sorry," he murmured, leaning in for another soft kiss.

Duke kissed him back, just as softly, and settled into Nathan’s contact, reminding himself not to get used to it because after everything he’d said, he was at least ninety percent certain that Nathan wouldn’t be back.  “You have nothing to apologize for,” he said quietly.

"Don't want to hurt you," Nathan said quietly.

“Let me worry about that,” Duke leaned in to kiss him, harder this time, more insistent.

Nathan returned the kiss, but when they pulled apart he said stubbornly, "I want to worry about it."

“Fine,” Duke said as he pulled out of Nathan’s embrace with an overly-dramatic sigh.  “How’s this…I’ll go and get a bottle of whisky - I’ll even try not to smash it this time - and we’ll drink and talk and hopefully get back to fucking.”

"Fair enough," Nathan agreed, drawing him close for a lingering kiss before he let Duke up.

Duke took his time, taking advantage of the _space_ to try to gather his thoughts.  It felt like a lost cause because regardless of what Nathan was saying, he was definitely _acting_ like he didn’t want this to be just sex and Duke hardly dared to hope that was the case.  Whatever.  Alcohol and sex.  The answer to all of life’s problems.  He went back to the bedroom carrying a full bottle of whisky and two glasses which he set on the nightstand so he could pour them each a generous measure.  He passed one to Nathan and settled onto the bed beside him.

Nathan wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, leaning against him.

 _One night_ , Duke reminded himself as he relaxed into the contact.  Nathan wouldn’t be back after this.  He drained his whisky.

Nathan nuzzled idly at Duke's hair, ignoring his whiskey.  It was as if he'd decided to get his fill of touch while he still could.  

“Nate,” Duke’s voice was hoarse from the whisky he’d drunk too fast.  Even so, he poured himself another and drained that too.  “What do you want?”

"Right now?  To forget what's coming for a while.  But what do you want, Duke?"

“To help you forget what’s coming for a while.”

"What do you want for yourself, Duke?" Nathan asked patiently.

Another whisky.  A soft laugh.  “Honestly?  Enough alcohol to forget the past week.”

"Can't let you poison yourself, Duke, sorry," Nathan sounded genuinely regretful as he drew Duke into his arms.

“Fine, fine, no alcohol poisoning.  But if you have a better way to forget, then I’m all ears.”

Nathan cupped Duke's cheek in his hands and kissed him breathless.  He kissed without much skill or experience, but made up for it in the intensity of his focus.

“That works,” Duke said once he’d regained his breath.  He immediately dived back in for another kiss, full of passion, letting Nathan know just how much he _wanted him_.

Nathan set his whiskey glass aside, then gently took Duke's and put it on the nightstand as well, pulling Duke fully into his arms.

“Tell me what you want, Nate,” Duke asked again.  “What do you want to feel?”

"We could…try something new," Nathan said, blushing more deeply than the simple suggestion might warrant.

“Intriguing,” Duke grinned, happily back in his comfort zone.  “What are you thinking?”

"We've never…done it the other way around," Nathan mumbled.

“You’d trust me with that?”  Duke said softly, getting Nathan’s meaning straight away.

Nathan reddened further, but nodded.

Duke kissed him, softly, his hand resting on Nathan’s cheek.  “You working tomorrow?” He asked quietly, waiting for Nathan’s confused shake of his head before he went on.  “Ok, then here’s what we’re gonna do, because I don’t think I’m physically capable of round three yet, no matter how much I want to… I’m going to kiss you and touch you and find every last spot that makes you moan with pleasure before I let you come.  You’re going to stay here tonight - I’ll sleep on the couch if you don’t want to spend the night with me - and tomorrow, if you still want to, we’ll do that.”

"That sounds pretty amazing," Nathan said softly.

“Does to me, too,” Duke smiled and leaned in to kiss Nathan once again, gently pushing him down onto the bed.

Nathan smiled, a rare teasing expression.  "Specially if you make breakfast."

“Well now you're just being demanding,” Duke teased back.

Nathan's face fell.  "Sorry.  I can go out n' pick something up."

“Hey,” Duke said softly. “I was teasing. Pancakes or waffles?”

"Pancakes?" Nathan perked back up at that.  "You'd really make pancakes?"

Duke laughed even as his heart stung that Nathan thought that was special. “Yes, I'd really make pancakes.”

"You're the best," Nathan said and kissed Duke, his chagrin entirely forgotten.

“Mm-hmm,” Duke murmured his agreement. He dropped his lips to Nathan's neck, nibbling just below his ear as his hands roamed across Nathan's body, seeking out all of the sensitive spots he'd started to find earlier.

Nathan whined softly, his hands stroking across Duke's back.

“Good?” Duke whispered, not giving him a chance to answer before he rasped his teeth across Nathan's nipple, followed seconds later by his tongue.

"Fuck, Duke!" Nathan gasped, hands clenching on Duke's shoulders.

Duke did it again, over and over, switching from one nipple to the other, reducing Nathan to a moaning, writhing, mess beneath him. He slowly kissed his way down Nathan's body, delighting in Nathan's _responsiveness_ , in every sound he made, every sharp gasp and soft moan, every whispered curse. His fingers traced patterns along Nathan's ribs, his mouth kissing, nibbling, sucking at Nathan's hip bone.

Nathan whimpered, fingers combing restlessly through Duke's hair.  "God, Duke, please…"

“Please what, Nate?” Duke asked angelically, smiling up at him. “What do you want?”

"God, Duke, put your mouth on me, please," Nathan groaned.

“Like this?” Duke murmured. He licked, slowly and gently, base to tip. “Wouldn't want to rush, now, would we?

Nathan moaned loudly, hands clenched in the sheets, all restraint forgotten.

That lack of restraint was so unusual, so _un-Nathan-y,_ that Duke had every intention of taking full advantage of the opportunity to drive Nathan out of his fucking mind. He grinned and licked again, his tongue teasing round the tip for longer this time.

Nathan whimpered and made pleading sounds, wordless and incoherent.

Two more teasing licks and Duke relented, taking Nathan deep into his mouth, his hands on Nathan’s hips to hold him still.

Arching his back, Nathan groaned desperately, his hands going to Duke's shoulders.

Duke settled into a rhythm, quick but not fast, pausing to run his tongue around the tip before sinking back down, each movement bringing Nathan closer and closer to the edge.

Words long since lost to him, Nathan moaned and whined and clutched at Duke's shoulders as Duke worked him deeper, taking him into his throat and swallowing around him.  A choked sound escaped from Nathan and he pushed at Duke’s shoulders in warning.

Duke hummed around him, wordlessly trying to tell him to not to worry, and kept working.

The hum was all it took to send Nathan over the edge, hands clutching Duke's shoulders hard enough to bruise.

Pleased with himself, Duke swallowed and pulled off.  He rubbed his shoulders briefly and settled onto the bed beside Nathan.  “Good, then?”  He smirked.

Nathan gave a wordless murmur of blissful satisfaction and rolled over, wrapping himself around Duke.

This softness was a side to Nathan that Duke hadn’t seen before and it was an agonizing glimpse of what he _couldn’t have_.  He closed his arms around Nathan and reminded himself (again) that it was just one night.

"M'a sleep now, kay?" Nathan mumbled, yawning.

“Want me to go?”  Duke asked softly.

Nathan grumbled and clung fiercely to him.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Duke smiled and relaxed into Nathan’s contact.  He tightened his arms around him and nuzzled into his hair, memorising every curve, every sharp angle of his body, the way he tasted, the way he smelled. All the tiny details that he never wanted to forget.

They fell asleep like that, arms wrapped around each other, barely an inch apart even in their sleep.

****

Duke woke first.  Nathan was still sleeping deeply beside him, snoring softly, and Duke moved gently, slowly, doing all he could not to disturb him.  Once out of bed, he pulled on his pants and gazed down at Nathan, free to watch him without fear of the judgement he might get if Nathan had been awake.  He was peaceful, adorable and unguarded.  Duke smiled.  As much as he wanted to stay there and watch Nathan sleep, he turned away.  There were pancakes to be made.

The scent of delicious pancakes teased Nathan from slumber and he blinked, disoriented for a moment before he recognized Duke's bedroom.  He found he was disappointed not to wake with Duke in his arms, and worried what that meant.  He wandered out to the galley, sleep-mussed and still blinking owlishly.

“Morning,” Duke said cheerily.  “Sorry I woke you.”

"S'fine," Nathan yawned hugely.  "Didn't feel like sleeping in?"

“Yeah, but I promised you pancakes.”

"Could've waited, you didn't have to jump right out of bed first thing to make me breakfast."

“It's ten o’clock,” Duke laughed. “Not exactly first thing.” He left the real reason unspoken - that he hadn't wanted to find out what Nathan's reaction was when he woke up next to him.

"I slept that late?" Nathan asked, surprised.  He never slept in, certainly not as late as ten.

“I must've worn you out,” Duke smirked.

Nathan rolled his eyes and lazily flipped Duke off as he went over to the coffeepot, pouring himself a mug and refilling Duke's.

“Thanks,” Duke took it from him and set it on the counter while he dished up the pancakes. “Maple syrup?”

"Always," Nathan smiled.

Duke got a bottle out of the cupboard (the real stuff, of course, none of that fake shit here) and put it on the table along with the plates of pancakes. “Enjoy,” he smiled as he sat down. He took a long sip of still-too-hot coffee.

"This looks amazing.  And smells amazing," Nathan said happily as he dug in.  "And tastes amazing too, oh my god," he all but moaned at the first bite.

Duke grinned at the look of sheer _delight_ on Nathan's face. “If I'd known pancakes were the way to your heart, I'd have made them months ago,” he laughed. Or at least tried to. It came out more like a weak chuckle. Yeah. Not one of his better jokes.

"Woulda worked," Nathan said cheerfully, missing Duke's expression in his focus on the breakfast.  "Can't stay mad at a guy who makes pancakes like this."

“Would it also work as bribery to get out of my next parking ticket?” Duke thought that might be safer ground. Anything to avoid that little leap of _hope_ that his heart kept making.

Nathan thought about that for a moment.  "Would consider it," he said seriously.

“Good to know,” Duke smirked. “How about next time you arrest me?”

Nathan lifted an eyebrow.  "How 'bout we find you a living that won't get you arrested?"

Duke stared at him, his mouth slightly open. _We?_ He cleared his throat. “I'm open to suggestions…”

"You talk to Bill?  He's reopening the restaurant.  Bet he could use another pair of hands in the kitchen - 'specially hands that can turn out food like this."

“That's…” That seemed so _obvious_ that Duke couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. “Yeah, I mean, a conversation couldn't hurt. He can only say no, right?”

"X'actly," Nathan nodded.  "If not, maybe other places to eat.  Or there might be dayboats needing a deckhand, stuff like that.  I'll vouch for you.  They don't believe you, call my cell, I'll talk to 'em then and there."

“You'd do that?”

"Sure.  Not like you'd reflect badly on it."

“I…” Duke's voice was thick with emotion and he took a long swallow of coffee. “I don't really know what to say. Thank you, Nathan. I promise I won't let you down.”

"You deserve a chance, same's everyone," Nathan said quietly.  "Shoulda seen that a long time ago.  Helping you get one now's the least I can do."

“No one's ever believed in me before,” Duke replied. “It means a lot. Especially coming from you.”

"Know you won't let me down," Nathan told him confidently.

“I won't,” Duke promised again. It wouldn't be easy to leave that part of himself behind but there was no way he was going to betray Nathan's trust in him. All he'd ever needed was a single chance, for one person to believe in him, and here it was. He was going to grab it with both hands.

Nathan smiled and reached across the table to ruffle Duke's hair.

That simple, small, gesture was the most affection Duke had felt for years.  If ever.  He resisted the urge to purr under Nathan’s hand and settled for smiling and taking a sip of coffee instead.

After they'd finished, Nathan got up and cleared the table, washing the dishes with quick efficiency.

Another jolt to Duke’s heart.  That familiar domesticity of Nathan in his kitchen, doing practical, everyday tasks that should have been inconsequential but meant _so damn much_.  He couldn’t let himself think like that.  “More coffee?” He asked, wanting some sort of distraction, something to _do_ rather than just sitting and watching him.

"Thanks," Nathan gave him a small smile over his shoulder.

 _Oh god,_ that small, soft, smile.  Duke cleared his throat and poured the coffee.  He set a mug beside Nathan and leaned against the counter to drink his own.  “Got much planned for today?”

Nathan shook his head.  "Was just gonna do research."

“Need some help?”

"You'd be bored out of your mind.  Hell, _I'll_ be bored out of my mind."

Duke shrugged.  “Offer’s there if you want it.”

"You really want to spend your day off looking at town records and old copies of the Herald?"

No.  What Duke wanted was to spend the day with Nathan but there was no way in hell he was going to admit that.  He shrugged again.  “It’s not like I really have set days to… ‘work’.  Think of it this way, it’ll keep me out of trouble until I can talk to Bill.”

"Guess I have no objections, but don't say I didn't warn you," Nathan said wryly.

“ _No objections_ ,” Duke snorted.  “That’s really flattering my ego.”

"You know what I mean, Duke," Nathan's smile dropped away.  "Be glad of your company, truly."

“You never know, I might actually be some help.  I mean, probably not, but…”

"Sure you would, just hate to waste your day off."

“Like I said, it’s not like I _get_ days off,” Duke pointed out.  ”So it won’t be a waste.”

"If you're sure, Duke."

“I’m sure,” Duke smiled.  Anything to grab a few extra hours with Nathan.

"Okay," Nathan agreed.  Inwardly he was a little confused, wondering if this meant Duke was no longer interested in their previous 'plans' - or maybe he had never wanted to in the first place?

“Although…I could think of much more _fun_ things to do with your day off,” Duke smirked.

Nathan looked relieved.  "Still want to?"

“Oh, believe me, I very much _do_ want to,” Duke leaned in towards him, his voice low as he spoke.  “I just don’t want you to think you have to just because you brought it up last night.  We can do other stuff, or nothing at all.  Whatever you want.”

"No, I'm game, I just…when you asked what my plans were for today I thought maybe you forgot, or didn't want to."

“That was my way of _asking_ if you still wanted to,” Duke laughed softly.  “I mean, just coming out with ‘still want me to fuck you’ seemed a touch crude.”

"...Oh."  Nathan looked embarrassed.  "Went right over my head."

“Too subtle, huh?” Duke grinned.  “I’ll have to remember that.”

Nathan looked even more embarrassed, but didn't deny it.  "You know me, you drop a hint and I'll pick it up and hand it back never guessing it was for me."

“Same as compliments, huh?”  Duke smiled softly.

Nathan blinked.  "You've complimented me?  Ever?"

“I seem to remember telling you how good you were last night,” Duke flashed a grin at him before his face fell.  “But otherwise, no, and I should probably do something about that.”

"Hey, it's fine, wouldn't expect it," Nathan reassured him.

“Well maybe you should, because you’re pretty fucking amazing,” Duke said quietly.  “But I get it, it’d be awkward coming from me so I’ll restrain my compliments to bedroom related activities only.”

"Didn't mean it'd be awkward," Nathan protested.  "Least, no more'n it'd be awkward coming from anyone.  Just don't get it, is all."

“Get what?  That you’re kind and brave and caring?  Or that you’re hot and _really fucking good_ in bed?”

Nathan folded his arms across his chest, beet-red, visibly uncomfortable and embarrassed.  "Not funny, Duke.  I know my limits without you sarcastically rubbing 'em in, thanks."

“What?”  Duke frowned.  “Nathan, I wasn’t being sarcastic.”

"Come on, Duke.  Brave, kind, caring?  Hot?   _Good in bed?_  Can't be serious."

He might as well have twisted a knife into Duke’s chest.  “I’m completely serious.  Every word.”

"I know damn well I don't know what I'm doing in the bedroom, don't need reminders."

“Uh, I beg to differ on that.  Last night...Nate, last night was _incredible_.  I haven’t gone a second round since I was twenty-something.  That was all _you_.  So yeah, you’re good in bed.  And everything else I said.”

"Whatever," Nathan mumbled, still embarrassed.

“You,” Duke crowded him against the counter and tilted Nathan’s face up to kiss him softly.  “Are everything I said.   _Everything_.  So shut up arguing with me and come back to bed.”

"Can get behind that," Nathan mumbled, returning the kiss.

“Good,” Duke murmured, kicking himself for trying to make this anything other than sex.  Should’ve known better.  “C’mon then,” he turned away to go to the bedroom, assuming Nathan would follow him.

"Hey.  You okay?" Nathan asked, catching hold of Duke's wrist with a worried expression.

“I’m fine, why?”

"Just...seemed a little off there, for a sec.  You can talk to me, y'know."

“I _was_ talking to you, you got embarrassed, now I’m trying to get things back onto more familiar ground, something you’re more comfortable with.”

Nathan considered him for a moment, then pulled him into a hug.

“Ok, hugs are good too,” Duke said softly.  “But really, I’m fine.”

Nathan nuzzled his hair and hugged him extra tight, leaning in for a kiss.

Duke kissed him back, softly at first, then more passionately, as he tried desperately not to get his hopes up because the softness that Nathan had shown last night was _still there_.

Nathan ran his fingers through Duke's hair, holding him close.  He could get used to this, he thought again.

“Bedroom?”  Duke murmured into Nathan’s ear.  

"Definitely," Nathan agreed.

“Come on then,” Duke took Nathan by the hand and led him towards the bedroom.

Nathan followed eagerly, already stripping out of the jeans and t-shirt he'd tossed on from yesterday (minus underwear).

 _Fuck_ , he looked even more hot than usual, all rumpled in yesterday's clothes, his hair still mussed from the night before. Duke manoeuvred him, crowding him in the narrow corridor so his back hit the wall, used his hands to pin Nathan's wrists above his head, and kissed him hard.

Nathan kissed back with enthusiasm, arching against Duke.

Duke moved his lips to Nathan's ear and nibbled gently. “You want to feel everything, right? As many new experiences as possible?” Nathan nodded. “Then we should go in the shower, find out how my hands feel all over your wet, slippery, skin, get you so turned on that you can hardly think, let alone breathe. And then... then I'll go to my knees and suck you and tease you until you beg me to fuck you.”

Nathan whined, pushing off the wall and pinning Duke to the one opposite, kissing him desperately.

He left Duke breathless with need.  “You like that idea then?”

"Do it," Nathan demanded, leaning in to nip lightly at Duke's neck, apologetically kissing the faded mark he'd left the other day with the bite that had kicked off this whole thing.

Duke shivered under his lips.  He gently pushed Nathan away in the direction of the bathroom.  “Get that hot ass in the shower then,” he grinned.

Nathan reached down and took Duke's hand, pulling him along with him to the bathroom.

Once in there, Duke turned on the shower, leaving it to warm up while he took off his pants.  He gently ran his hand over Nathan’s cheek and leaned in to kiss him again, pushing him gently but insistently into the shower as they kissed.

Nathan went obediently, sighing happily against Duke's lips as the hot water hit his skin.

Duke reached for a bottle of shower gel - the good stuff, scented with spices and fruit and herbs.  He poured a little in his hand and slowly worked it over Nathan’s skin, his fingers lingering on all the sensitive spots he’d found the night before.

"Mmm, that feels so nice," Nathan murmured blissfully, nibbling at Duke's ear distractingly.

Duke murmured his agreement and slid his hands lower, crouching to work his way down Nathan’s legs, then inching his way back up to kiss Nathan again.  “Turn round,” he said quietly.

Nathan did as Duke asked, relaxed and trusting, leaning against the warm wet tile.

“God you’re gorgeous,” Duke breathed.  He wrapped his arms around Nathan and dropped a soft kiss onto his neck.

Nathan shivered, arching back against him.

Duke grinned against his shoulder and reluctantly pulled away, fully intent on following through on the promises he’d made.  He took another handful of shower gel and started working his way down Nathan’s back, his hands lingering over Nathan’s ass.

Nathan grinned over his shoulder.  "Having fun back there?"

“Can’t get enough of you,” Duke said honestly.  He gave Nathan’s ass a final squeeze and picked up the shampoo, poured a little into his hand and worked it into Nathan’s hair, his fingers gently massaging and scratching Nathan’s scalp.

Nathan moaned softly, head tilting back, expression practically ecstatic.

“Good?”  Duke asked softly.

"Amazing," Nathan sighed blissfully.

Duke smiled.  “Under the water, rinse off,” he gave Nathan a gentle nudge.

Looking disappointed the scalp massage was over, Nathan dutifully rinsed off.

“I’ll do this again anytime you want me to,” Duke leaned in to murmur in Nathan’s ear.  He pressed soft kisses to Nathan’s neck, working along his jawline towards his lips.

Nathan tilted his head to give Duke more room to work.  "Don't tempt me, I'll start staying over every night."

Duke hesitated, trying to remember how to breathe, trying to work out if that was Nathan’s deadpan humour or if he _meant it_.  Seconds passed.   _Fuck_ , he had to say _something_.  “You’re only saying that because of the pancakes,” he joked, pressing his lips to Nathan’s before he could respond.

"This, pancakes...you," Nathan murmured against Duke's lips, interspersing each word with kisses.

Breathing was no longer Duke’s concern, now he thought his heart might have stopped beating.  Words failed him and he held Nathan tight as he kissed him fiercely.

Nathan made a soft sound of surprise but returned the kiss just as gladly.

Duke dropped his lips away, moving to Nathan’s neck, his chest, kissing his way down Nathan’s body.

"You're so good at that, Duke," Nathan said breathlessly.

“Mm-hmm,” Duke murmured his agreement against Nathan’s chest, his hands on Nathan’s hips as he manoeuvred him so his back was against the wall again.

Nathan let Duke maneuver him as he liked, much too distracted to object even if he'd wanted to.

“Like putty in my hands, huh, Nate?” Duke grinned and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Just too damn good at that," Nathan mumbled against his mouth.

“Just can't get enough of you,” Duke told him as he dropped to his knees, his hands resting lightly on Nathan's hips.

"Should be my line.  'Specially right about now," Nathan told him, looking down at Duke with arousal-darkened eyes.

Duke gazed up at him, open and honest and adoring, almost worshipful. He smiled and dropped his head, his lips replacing his hand on Nathan's hip, his fingers trailing down Nathan's thigh to gently rub the back of his knee.

Nathan made a sound of pleasure in his throat, long fingers combing through Duke's hair.

Duke echoed his sound of pleasure and nuzzled his way across to softly lick his way up Nathan's length.

"God, Duke," Nathan groaned.

“Good?” Duke murmured, not waiting for an answer before he did it again, and again.

Nathan made a choked sound, barely able to get words out.  "You know damn well you make me crazy."

“That's the idea,” Duke smirked and sank his mouth down around Nathan.

"Fuck, Duke!" Nathan shouted.

Duke sucked harder, just for a moment before he pulled off and resumed soft, teasing kisses and licks, his tongue swirling around the head.

"God, Duke, how do you get me revved up so damn fast?" Nathan groaned.

“Because I'm good,” Duke grinned and sank his mouth back down over Nathan's length once again.

"Yes, fuck, you're so good," Nathan panted.

Duke slid his hands around to Nathan's ass, gentle caresses alternating with firmer strokes as he worked with his mouth.

Nathan made a soft sound of approval, hands shifting to Duke's shoulders, careful not to grip too hard this time.

Duke pulled his mouth off to press soft kisses to the inside of Nathan's thighs. He nibbled gently, teasing the sensitive skin, and moved one hand to cup the heavy sac between Nathan's legs.

Nathan whined, shifting his legs further apart.

Taking advantage of the easier access, Duke slid his hand behind Nathan's balls, gently rubbing behind them, gauging Nathan's reactions before softly - so softly - running his finger over Nathan's entrance.

It was strange being touched there, but Nathan was much too preoccupied with what Duke's mouth was doing to worry about that.

Duke paused in what he was doing and leaned back on his heels to look up at Nathan, watching his face carefully. “That ok?” He checked.

"Yeah, I'm okay, don't stop," Nathan said quickly.

Duke smiled and carried on, his finger teasing at Nathan's entrance, as he softly kissed and licked his hardness, waiting for Nathan to _ask._

Nathan bit his lip, releasing it only to say, "It's okay, Duke, you can keep going."

Duke rocked back on his heels again, giving Nathan a chance to breathe (and maybe himself as well because the thought of fucking Nathan was really damn appealing right now). “Not here,” he said softly. “If you want to do this, we're doing it right. Supplies, comfortable bed, taking our time.”

Nathan pulled Duke up for a kiss.  "You're pretty amazing," he told him, taking the shower gel and beginning to bathe Duke the way Duke had bathed him.

“Nate,” Duke breathed as Nathan's hands ran over him, soft and tender and _caring_. “You're pretty amazing too.”

Nathan gave him a crooked little smile and kissed him again, continuing his careful ministrations until Duke's skin was clean.  He then worked the shampoo though Duke's hair, enjoying the silky feel of it.

A shivery sigh escaped from Duke before he could stop it. He'd showered with partners before, of course he had, but not like this. Never like this. This...gentle _care_ that he didn't quite know what to do with. He leaned his head into Nathan's contact and practically _purred_ under his touch.

Nathan smiled to see Duke so relaxed and blissful, and pressed soft kisses to Duke's shoulders as he worked.  He took much more time than he needed, knowing how good it had felt for him, but eventually he drew his hands away with reluctance.

Duke took a minute to _breathe,_  to just _be_ , before he turned around and kissed Nathan fiercely, trying to put everything he felt into one kiss.  Words weren’t enough.  Still kissing, he dragged Nathan under the shower with him, letting the hot water cascade over them both.

Nathan was starting to realize that these fierce kisses were following little gestures of kindness, of gentleness, of things that should have been everyday in any decent relationship.  It didn't say good things about Duke's romantic history that he seemed so grateful for them, and the thought of that made Nathan hold Duke a little tighter.

“Bedroom?”  Duke murmured into Nathan’s ear as they held each other, an embrace that he didn’t want to let go of but knew he had to.

"Yeah, okay," Nathan murmured, leaning in for one more kiss as he reached out to shut off the water.

“No pressure,” Duke reminded him as he stepped out of the shower and passed Nathan a towel.

Nathan smiled and kissed his cheek.  "I trust you."

“Thank you,” Duke said quietly.

Nathan's smile turned a little wicked.  "And you always seem to enjoy it so much, after all," he smirked and squeezed a handful of Duke's ass.

Duke grinned back.  “I _really_ do.”

Nathan leaned in to steal another kiss, slow and thorough and unhurried.

Duke relaxed into him, happy to take this as slowly as Nathan needed to.

Nathan eventually broke to kiss to nibble at Duke's neck.  "You feel good.  And smell good," he murmured happily.

“You smell good too,” Duke said softly, a faint possessive streak running through him because Nathan smelled like him - his shampoo, his shower gel - but at the same time so indescribably _Nathan_.

Nathan smiled and kissed him again, tugging them back toward the bedroom.

“Have you ever…?”  Duke murmured against Nathan’s neck as he kicked the door closed behind them.

Nathan blushed and shook his head.  "Never did anything with a guy, 'til you."

Duke smiled softly and cupped Nathan’s cheek in his hand.  “I’m flattered.  Genuinely, I’m not trying to be funny,” he said quietly.

Nathan kissed him softly, not wanting to dwell on the embarrassing topic anymore.

Duke pushed him away, gently, keeping hold of Nathan’s wrist so he knew he wasn’t being pushed away.  “I know the answer but I’ve gotta ask anyway… _Are you sure_?”

"Yeah, I'm sure," Nathan agreed.

Duke pulled Nathan back to him, resting his hands on Nathan’s hips as he kissed him hard, using his body to push Nathan towards the bed.  He broke the kiss to gently shove Nathan onto the bed, a wicked grin on his face as he gazed down at him.  “Do you have _any idea_ how fucking hot you are?”

"Really don't see it," Nathan protested.

“I do,” Duke insisted.  “Great body, handsome face, kissable lips, those eyes…”

Nathan pulled Duke close for a kiss to stop the embarrassing compliments.

“I could go on…” Duke grinned against Nathan’s lips.

"Please don't," Nathan nipped at Duke's lower lip.

“Ok, ok, I’ll stop.  For now,” Duke laughed and lowered his body to cover Nathan’s.  He pressed soft kisses to Nathan’s neck, starting by his ear and working lower.  “Better?”  He murmured.

"Definitely," Nathan said, his breathing picking up a little.

Duke carried on kissing, nibbling, sucking all the sensitive spots on Nathan’s body that he’d found and memorised the night before.  He took his time, his hands roaming, not leaving an inch of Nathan untouched, determined to drive him thoroughly wild.

It wasn't long before Nathan was squirming and whining, eager and impatient for more.

Duke watched and listened, drinking in Nathan's every movement, every sound he made. He reached for the lube and, with his slick hand, took hold of Nathan's length, stroking gently and teasingly. His other hand dipped lower, pressing lightly at Nathan's entrance, carefully gauging Nathan's reactions.

"It's good, Duke go ahead," Nathan arched his hips to meet Duke's hand.

A touch more pressure and Duke's finger slipped easily inside. He kept still, letting Nathan get used to the sensation, his other hand still gently stroking Nathan's hardness.

"Feels weird.  Not bad, though," Nathan admitted, fighting the urge to squirm.

“Tell me if that changes,” Duke murmured. Slowly - so slowly, fighting against his desire to _rush_ \- he started to move his finger, twisting, stretching, adding another, then another, getting Nathan ready.

"Feels weirder," Nathan lost the battle to squirm.  "Still not bad but not good really either.  Is it like this for you?" he looked worried.

Duke stopped what he was doing and shifted to lie beside Nathan. “No,” he reassured him immediately. “It’s... Nate, it feels _good_ when you fuck me. Really good. If it isn't working for you then we should stop.”

"But if it's good for you, then it gets good at some point, right?"

“Everyone's different. Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean that you will.”

"But it feels good, right?  Aside from whether you like it or not."

“ _So_ fucking good.”

"So, what makes it good for you will make it good for me too, right?  I just gotta be patient."

Duke hesitated and swallowed hard, swallowing his objections, swallowing the words he wanted to say ( _what makes it good for me is_ you, _Nate_ ). He nodded. “Patience is always a good start,” he smiled. “But Nathan, you _have_ to be honest with me. And yourself. If you're not enjoying it, tell me. Don't pretend. It won't do either of us any favours.”

"Can do, so long as you don't assume that I want to stop if it's not earth-shakingly amazing.  I want to try this, okay?"

“Are you sure you're ready for earth-shakingly amazing?” Duke asked with a smirk.

"Always is with you," Nathan smiled.

Duke laughed and leaned in to kiss him. “You're sweet,” he mumbled. “Earth-shakingly amazing coming up.”

Nathan returned the kiss and lay back again, nodding his readiness to Duke.

Duke kissed his way back down Nathan's body, not lingering now, one very specific goal in mind, and took Nathan in his hand once again. He smirked slightly to himself and this time, when he slid his fingers into Nathan, he curled them, pressing forwards, searching for _that spot._

Nathan was prepared to have Duke's fingers inside him again, but when Duke found what he was looking for Nathan arched off the bed with a cry of shocked pleasure.

 _Fuck_ , that was a beautiful sight. Duke pulled back slightly, giving Nathan a moment to recover before he pressed again.

Nathan gave a strangled moan, his hands reaching for Duke blindly.

“I can make you come like this, Nate, if that's what you want,” Duke murmured. “Or I can stop and I can fuck you.”

"Please, Duke, want you," Nathan managed, hoarse and desperate.

“Fuck,” Duke whispered breathlessly, the word long and drawn out. Nathan might not be begging but he was definitely _asking_ and that was so incredibly _hot._ “I want you too, Nate, so damn much.”

"Then do it," Nathan panted eagerly.

Duke leaned down to kiss him, hard and passionate, before he rolled away. Condom, more lube, and he was kneeling between Nathan's thighs, gazing down at him with rapt attention. He thought about saying something - anything really, ‘thank you for giving this to me’, maybe, or ‘god, you're handsome’, even 'you’re so fucking hot’ - but nothing seemed _right_ , nothing seemed to fit. So he gave Nathan a tiny smile, lined up and slowly, gently, pressed forwards.

Nathan's hands clutched at Duke's forearms as he struggled to breathe - this was a lot more than a couple of fingers.  

“Breathe, Nate,” Duke murmured as he held still and waited.

Nathan watched the rise and fall of Duke's chest, trying to match his breaths with his lover's.

Duke watched him carefully, waited while he got his breathing back under control. “Ok?”

"Yeah, it's just…a lot," Nathan gave a short, breathless laugh.

“Yeah,” Duke said quietly. He shifted carefully to take his weight on one arm so he could slip his other hand between them to take hold of Nathan's length, running his thumb around the tip to give Nathan something else to think about.

Nathan made a soft sound of pleasure, his slightly flagging arousal perking back up to full attention.

Duke pressed forwards, easing in gently as he kept working Nathan with his hand, keeping his touches light and teasing.

"God, you feel so big," Nathan groaned.

Duke stifled a moan, suppressed a shiver, because Nathan-fucking-Wuornos was lying beneath him, rumpled and aroused and saying _thoroughly indecent_ things to him. He pressed forwards again, finally lodged deep inside Nathan. He swallowed hard, panting slightly. “You feel so fucking good around me.”

"If it's even half as good as you always feel for me, I'll call it a win."

“Shut up,” Duke breathed. He leaned down to kiss Nathan, their lips pressed together as he held still, giving Nathan time to adjust, his hand working over Nathan's hardness, teasing, tantalising.

Nathan was soon moaning into the kiss, his hands restless on Duke's back.

Duke started to move, rocking into Nathan slowly, gently, barely moving at all, just enough that he would feel it.

Nathan rocked with him, his moans soft.

 _Oh god_ , it was taking every ounce of Duke's self control not to just _fuck him_ because _those sounds_ and the way he looked, lying there, his eyes closed, his lips parted, a light blush on his cheeks. Duke let out a shaky breath and moved _more -_ faster, further, but still so, so, gentle.

Nathan arched his hips, trying to get more pressure on that perfect spot.

Duke shifted his weight and took hold of Nathan's hips to pull him closer, the different angle making it easier to hit the spot.

Nathan gave a loud moan, hugging Duke tightly against him, kissing him fiercely.

Duke kissed him back, just as fiercely, as he moved against Nathan, fucking him now, with long, slow, strokes and it was _exquisite._ Everything he'd ever dreamed it could be and more.

Nathan murmured against Duke's mouth, soft broken pleas, Duke's name, how good it was, the words spilling from his lips without thought.

Duke shifted his weight, grasped Nathan more firmly in his hand and stroked in time with his thrusts.

"Fuck, Duke," Nathan groaned, holding him tighter, overwhelmed.

“Nate,” Duke breathed back as he picked up his pace.

"God, Duke, so good," Nathan moaned, kissing him breathlessly.

Duke kissed him back, his rhythm never changing. “So fucking good, Nate,” he whined as he tried to think about something else, _anything else_ , anything so that he could _hold back_ and wait for Nathan.

"Getting close, Duke, please," Nathan panted, his hands sliding down to Duke's hips, wordlessly encouraging him to move faster, harder, deeper.

“God,” Duke whispered. He gave Nathan what he wanted, needed, their bodies moving together, pleasure climbing.

Nathan whimpered, arching against Duke, wordlessly begging.

“You're so fucking good, Nate,” Duke murmured as he moved his hand faster. “Don't hold back.”

"Don't want to, Duke, so close, please, I need…"

“What do you need?” Duke asked, breathless.

"More, Duke, please!" Nathan whined.

Duke let out a groan, took hold of his hips so he hit _that spot_ on every stroke, and fucked him. Hard, fast, deep, letting him feel _everything_.

Nathan cried out, hands clenching on Duke's hips, body clenching around him as his whole lean frame drew tight and then peaked.

His peak carried Duke over the edge with him. Breathing hard, Duke leaned forwards and pressed his forehead to Nathan's. “That...was fucking amazing,” he murmured.

Nathan gave a blissful murmur of agreement and wrapped his arms lazily around Duke, cuddling him close.

Duke kissed him softly and relaxed into his contact, settling against Nathan and soaking up the feel of Nathan's arms around him.

Nathan nuzzled him lazily, then chuckled.  "Think we need another shower."

Duke laughed softly. “Think you might be right. You want to go first?”

"Should do it together.  Water heater probably hasn't recovered enough for two showers."

“Yeah, good point,” Duke nodded, already halfway out of bed.

Nathan made a grumpy noise and clung to him.  "Didn't say I wanted to get up yet."

 _Oh god_ , that little leap of hope again. Duke settled back into Nathan's arms. “Sorry. Just assumed.”

"You're comfy.  And you turned my limbs to jello," Nathan explained, nestling against him once more.

“Nice to know I have my uses,” Duke laughed, closing his arms around Nathan.

Nathan murmured contentedly, letting himself drift, half-awake and half in a doze, relaxed and trusting beside Duke.

Duke pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and closed his own eyes, not wanting to sleep, just wanting to feel and hear and memorise the sound of Nathan breathing next to him.

Nathan stirred after a little while, yawning.  "S'pose we really do have to get up for the day, don't we?" he sighed in disappointment.

“If you want to do that research, yeah,” Duke replied.

"Rather stay here," Nathan said mournfully, even as he let go of Duke and sat up.

 _Me too._ Duke didn't say it. “Still want some company?”

"If you're still sure."

“I am,” Duke smiled.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you," Nathan smiled ruefully.  "Let me know when you get hungry, I'll order lunch.  Pizza sound okay?"

“Pizza's good,” Duke stood up and stretched. “Or I can make us something before we go.”

"You made breakfast _and_ dinner last night.  I got lunch.  Though if it's any consolation to your ego, my taste buds are mad at me for it," Nathan grinned, tossing a pillow at Duke in a rare playful mood.

“Ok, ok, lunch is on you,” Duke laughed as he threw the pillow back.

Nathan caught it and advanced around the bed toward Duke, brandishing it with laughing menace.

If the previously unseen softness had surprised Duke, this unguarded, playful, humour was a side to Nathan that he'd never expected - at least not now, their youthful shenanigans so long ago. He laughed along and picked up his own pillow, holding it like a shield.

Nathan grinned and leaped at Duke, tackling him back onto the bed and whomping him thoroughly with the pillow.

Laughing and breathless, Duke yanked the pillow out of his hands and pulled him close, wrapping his arms around Nathan as they kissed.

Nathan took his time returning the kiss, slow and thorough.

“I haven't laughed like that for a long time,” Duke murmured afterwards.

"Me neither," Nathan admitted.  "Guess you get a guy off a few times in one 24 period, it'll put him in a good mood."

“That would do it,” Duke agreed, glad of the timely reminder that this was _just sex_. It helped him to not get so caught up in this soft affection, this...laughing familiarity. Just sex.

"C'mon, let's go get cleaned up," Nathan smiled.

“Yeah, got work to do,” Duke nodded and got up. “I'll find you some clean clothes, too.”

"Thanks, 'ppreciate that," Nathan nodded.

Duke gave him a tiny smile. “Coming then?”

"Yeah," Nathan smiled.

They showered together, more quickly this time. Duke was done first so he left Nathan towelling off and went to dig out some spare clothes which he left on the bed. He hurriedly dressed and went to make more coffee. This research was going to be thoroughly _boring_ and caffeine was definitely needed if he wanted to stay awake.

Even through the boring research (and the surprisingly tasty takeout pizza Nathan had ordered), Duke kept stealing little glances at Nathan. Nathan, dressed in _his clothes,_ the scent of Duke all over him, sent a possessive thrill through Duke. Nathan, so relaxed and happy, so at ease with himself in a way he hadn't been before last night...Duke shook his head and got back to work.

Hours passed, hours of searching records and reading old articles, trying to piece together everything they knew with everything they were discovering. It was dull, boring, work but it went easier with both of them - comparing notes, bouncing ideas off each other; they even found a couple of times to laugh.

Duke yawned and stretched, checked his watch. “Getting late. Want to call it a day, come back to it tomorrow or something?”

"After a whole day of this, you'd come back for more?  You turn into a masochist or something?" Nathan asked.

Duke raised an eyebrow and shrugged. “You need the help. You can't commandeer police resources for this and it'll take you _months_ to go through all this stuff on your own.”

"Thanks, Duke.  It's pretty amazing you'd offer to do this," Nathan said quietly.

Duke shrugged again, swallowing a response ( _I just want to spend time with you, Nate, and if this is what I have to do…_ ). “Might help me find out why my dad wanted me to come back so badly,” he said instead.

"Might be.  Still, I appreciate it."  Nathan shuffled some papers for a minute before admitting, "There was something else I've been thinking about."

“You? Thinking? That's dangerous,” Duke smirked.

"I could just keep my mouth shut, but I don't think you want that," Nathan told him dryly.

Duke sighed theatrically. “Fine, I admit, I'm intrigued. What have you been thinking about?”

Nathan took a deep breath.  "That 'more' you talked about…"

“Yeah...forget I said anything, Nate,” Duke looked away, unable to see the look in Nathan's eyes as he said that this was it, that he wouldn't be back. “It's better that way. I don't need to hear you say it. Just...walk away. I'll always be your friend and I'll always be here when you want a few beers and a night to remember.”

"No, Duke, that's not it, not it at all.  Everything - today, this morning, last night - it's been so amazing.  I didn't want to say anything earlier because I wasn't sure if I had my head on right, but if I can still feel this way after looking at boring records all day, then it's definitely not just about the sex."

 _What the - ?_ Duke gaped at him, for once in his life lost for words. “What?” He managed to say.

"If you still want to.  If you still want more.  If you're still willing even knowing that some day soon I won't be able to feel you.  I'm in."

Still slightly stunned, still not entirely sure this was real and he wasn't dreaming, Duke nodded. He swallowed hard. “I still want that,” he said quietly.  “Whether you can feel me or not.”

Nathan looked relieved and delighted.  He cupped a hand to Duke's cheek, gently drawing him in for a kiss.

Duke relaxed into his contact, brushed his lips against Nathan's, soft, relaxed and unhurried. His heart thudded in his chest, matching pace with the thoughts racing through his head. Those words. Words that he'd never expected, never _dreamed_ , he'd ever hear from Nathan. “Does that mean I can start complimenting you now?” He mumbled, smiling against Nathan's lips.

Nathan chuckled.  "Only if I get to return the favor."

“Fair,” Duke smiled and wrapped his arms around Nathan, pulling him close. He nuzzled into Nathan's neck. “You're amazing, you know that?”

"Took the words right outta my mouth," Nathan told him.

“Shut up,” Duke murmured and kissed him again.

Nathan chuckled and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him thoroughly.


End file.
